Overcoming Attachment Trauma

There are multiple methods used to help someone overcome trauma from enmeshment, including learning how to set appropriate boundaries, practicing mindfulness, and attending therapy.

Mindfulness

Coming from an enmeshed family might make it challenging to recognize when you are in an enmeshed relationship as an adult because it's all you've ever known. Mindfulness is paying attention to the present moment and noticing your external environment and internal responses.

Practicing mindfulness can help bring attention to your interactions with others and how you feel about them. Noticing these patterns will allow you to recognize whether you are in an enmeshed relationship or need to set boundaries.

For example, you might realize that every time you are with a particular friend, you give in to what you think they want and cannot express your own needs and interests. This could be a sign of an enmeshed relationship.

Boundary Setting

Enmeshment is a form of emotional control that is achieved through manipulation. This makes it challenging to form boundaries, and boundaries are mostly nonexistent in enmeshed relationships. Since family members are made to feel they must depend on each other for their sense of self, there is no room for functioning independently.1

When learning to set boundaries, it can help to start slowly. It might feel uncomfortable saying no or pursuing something without permission or validation from others, but this is essential to setting healthy boundaries. It can help to take some time to think through the things that make you happy, regardless of how they affect others.

Setting boundaries includes talking about them with those you are closest to. Know your boundaries clearly and stick to them even when you get pushback.

EMDR counseling for attachment disorders, complex childhood trauma (C-PTSD) and other unresolved traumas

Research indicates that counseling is most effective when it incorporates both the left and right sides of the brain. Trauma and attachment wounds are stored in the right side of the brain. Traditional talk therapy typically accesses only the left side of the brain and is not necessarily the most effective for processing trauma. My counseling approach is designed to engage both sides of the brain to help you address trauma and attachment wounds and the painful symptoms that they create.

EMDR is a psychotherapeutic approach that helps to reprocess traumatic memories and move them to long term memory where the amygdala no longer holds these memories hostage. When the prefrontal cortex and hippocampus come back online to regulate emotions, you will be less reactive. Imagine how it would feel to finally get unstuck and move your life forward!


The goal of therapy for unresolved trauma, anxiety, depression, and relationship problems is to help you to:

  • Feel more calm, relaxed, and present-centered

  • Feel happier and have a more positive outlook on life

  • Experience more fulfilling and satisfying relationships

  • Feel empowered to create positive change in your life

  • Experience greater self-esteem and confidence

  • Feel more relaxed and comfortable in social situations


If you’re curious about EMDR or how we can work together to specifically treat your anxiety, depression, or anger... or if you’re interested in learning more about how trauma and/or attachment wounds may be triggering the symptoms that you’re struggling with, feel free to contact me to set up a free 15-minute phone/video consultation so we can discuss your concerns.